Day of Prayer And Fasting

A Place Called Simplicity: Please Share Your Prayer Needs.....

Im captivated by Stellan's story!

scroll down and keep clicking previous posts to get to the beginning - and read backwords

The Storming of Ninevah

I love the book of Jonah. I love the idea of the whale and the boy. I love the prayers. I love the inspiration and courage. I love the fear and rebellion. I don't really care if the fish was a fish or a whale. I don't really care if it was an actual historical event or just a story to explain a concept. I just love the heck out of it.

 A part of me All of me really identifies with Jonah. Sometimes when God comes a calling I want to crawl under a rock and stick my fingers in my ears and sing out loud "la la la la la la la - I cant hear you". Sometimes I want to turn the radio up real loud and pretend I didn't hear him. Sometimes I want to use logic to convince myself why what He wants couldn't really be what is best for me. And sometimes, just sometimes, I want to hop on a boat and go in the other direction. I think most people probably feel this way sometimes. I know for me - my enemy is fear. Fear is what tries to yank me away from God's best for me. Fear of man. Fear of fear. Fear of possibilities. Fear of loneliness. Fear of God.

For a long time I wasn't just a tourist under that rock - I lived there. I was the rock girl. I didn't care that there wasn't any sun there - because the sun was too bright. I stayed under that rock and stuck my fingers in my ears and let fear take complete control of my steps. I am not saying I was happy under that rock, but it was my rock and it was comfortable.

Somewhere after my first missions trip fear started to lose grip on me. The love of Christ started to burn it away. I suddenly became filled with a new courage. I had this picture in my head. It was me being catapulted off the tongue of a whale, like a slingshot almost, flying in a somersault with my fist raised - storming Ninevah. I didn't want to run and hide from the word Ninevah anymore. I wanted to storm Ninevah. I wanted to raise my fist in triumph and speak forth the word of God.

I have told you about my bff anna and how we are tight. We also like to do projects together. We have done most things, from modgepodge to building homemade didgerydoos, to electrical diy projects and pranks.... paintings, clay... sewing... everything. Now one of the things we did at one time was we made some techno worship songs, and named ourselves "storming ninevah". They are kind of lame - anna is amazing but i am not. If you have a jrock account you can listen to them here http://www.jrockboom.com/userinfo.php?user=stormingninevah

So when fear starts to creep up and put its hands around my throat, I try to think about Storming Ninevah. Because as that story showed us, and as experience has shown me, God will do the impossible, all we have to do is show up.

I am putting a picture of jonah and the whale into my memorial box :)

  

The Starfish

Once upon a time, there was a wise old man,
who went to the sea to contemplate.

One day, while walking along the shore,
the wise old man looked down the beach,
and saw a gracefully dancing human figure.
The wise old man wondered out loud,

“Who would be dancing all alone on the beach?”
He began to walk faster to catch up.
Getting closer, the wise man saw that the dancer
was a child, who was not dancing at all.
The child was reaching down to the sand to pick up
something, and was very gently throwing it into the sea.

The man called out to the child,
“Good Morning! What are you doing?”
The child paused, looked up and replied,
“Throwing Starfish into the sea.”
Surprised, the man said,
“Yes, I see that, but WHY are you throwing Starfish into the sea?”

The child smiled brightly, pointed upward and
with perfect simplicity replied,
“The sun is up, and the tide is going out.
If I don’t throw them in, they will die.”
“But, don’t you realize, “asked the man,
“that there are miles and miles of beach and Starfish all along it?
You can’t possibly make a difference!”

The child listened politely.
Then bent down, picked up another Starfish,
threw it gently into the sea, just beyond the breaking waves,
and joyfully declared,
“It made a difference for that one.”



Want to throw a starfish back?

The Thick and Thin Friend

Memorial Box Monday Edition

When I first became a Christian I was missing a big piece of my walk. I was missing friends. I had a couple friends. At that time, not too many real friends, but I had friends. What I was missing were real friends. Friends who understood my faith. Friends who supported, encouraged, and challenged me. Friends like I read about in books. I have two sisters who didn't live near me at the time, and though one knew my faith, only had so much time for me via the phone. I was struggling with panic disorder at the time and there were many things I prayed about. The thing I prayed the most about at the time was friends. I prayed long and hard for friends that I could experience this life as a Christian with.

At the time I had nothing in sight. I was going to a church with an awesome teaching pastor but where no one seemed to notice I was there. I would linger a little before and after service but after a year and a half not a single person acknowledged me there or invited me to anything. I wanted a Christian friend more than anything, but it didn't seem like it was going to happen to me, and as shy as I was it was even more distant. Those days were tough for me, trying to teach myself and encourage myself. Lets just say my understandings and decisions weren't always the best. I would lay and pray and ask the Lord "Lord please could I have a friend who was a Christian".

Through a series of events, about 4 years later I started going to a particular church, and after a series of events started spending time with a woman named Arlene. Arlene was a tad older than me but we always had so much fun that I loved spending time with her.

I can't begin to explain how important she is to me. How she has encouraged me. How she has sharpened me, like iron on iron. How she has challenged me. How she has loved me. How she has taught me. How she has encouraged me. How she has supported me. How she has helped me in my walk.

At different times we have talked about wondering if our friends were the type that stick through hard times, through thick and thin. She always told me she would expect me to leave her in tough times. And I too had never had a friend who would go through the really tough times with me. Arlene and I have been through THE RINGER. Going through numerous people drama, church breakups, deaths, fights, attacks, accusations, and all kinds of hell she has stuck by me. When people have attacked her and when people have attacked me and when we fought even with each other, we always got through it together.

There were plenty of times it would be easy for her to walk away from me. But she didn't. She is the type of friend that tells me when I am wrong. She is the type of friend that protects me when people come against me. She is the type of friend that I can know will go through the fires with me in this life.

When I prayed for a friend - I was really praying for Arlene. I am amazed that the Lord had something so special in mind for me. Someone to teach me to be a friend, to teach me to be a wife, to teach me to be a child of God and sit at the foot of Christ. I have some very special and amazing people in my life, but I would not be who I am and where I am without Arlene - that is for sure. Paul said "follow me as I follow Christ". In the meantime I have been following Arlajean as she follows Christ. She is my real life Linny.

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.? - Proverbs 27:9

This week I am putting a picture of Arl and I in my memorial box.

  

The Tip

Memorial Box Monday Edition

So for a period of time I was working for a cable provider as a field technician and really struggling to pay my way. It seemed as if every single week I would run out of money a couple days before pay day and really have to get creative. I would find ways to make groceries stretch, I would find ways to make the bills get paid a month early so that when I was late I was never really late, but could go a couple extra days since I was in actuality a month ahead. I would do things like this because I was in a situation where that was my only choice. Perhaps my eyes were bigger than my wallet as far as choosing housing and all, but for whatever the reason I was low on dough in those days.

So, God used these times to show me in mighty ways how tangible and real He was. I remember many times where I did not have money for gas to get home from work and God would just bring it out of thin air. I would be in my truck driving around and praying. "Please God - help me make my gas last for just one more day". Then I would moments later walk into a client who would hand me just enough money to put gas in my car as a tip. Now, tips were not the norm in my job. Sometimes you would go months without a tip. And I have to say I have never thought to tip the cable man when he came to my house. But every now again, without rhyme or reason, a client would shove money in my hand/pocket/toolbag and insist that I take it. The part that made it so very beautiful to me was when I hadn't had a tip in months, and not necessarily asking for it, just praying God would find a way to provide, and out of nowhere a tip of $10 or $20 to go into my gas tank and get me home and back to work the next day.

God made sure He did this in very obvious ways to me. And often now people think I am insensitive and careless about money. And perhaps sometimes I am (thank the Lord I have a husband who is the exact opposite with money), but it is just something the Lord has taught me not to worry about. The God of the universe has the ability to provide more money than I need, and He has proven to me that he will always take care of me much more than I deserve. So on this memorial box monday I want to make sure that I remember all those times God took care of the little things for me.

²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^[b]? - Matthew 6

This week I am putting a bean in my memorial box. Because God was my provider of gas!

  

The Boy

Memorial Box Monday Edition

So while I spent my late teen years with my high school boyfriend, my early twenties found me broken-hearted and alone. My high school boyfriend and I had parted ways. My friends had all gone off to their own lives. My parents had completed a divorce and were involved in their new lives with their new significant others. I had a newfound faith in Christ, and while I finally felt like I was home (because of my faith), I was also experiencing my first alone time as a single "adult".

Initially it was very lonely and I was pretty sad. But then the Lord started to call me. He drew me to His word. I started reading it for the first time in my life and really seeing it as something real and applicable and the living word of God. I made some mistakes as an early Christian, as we all do. Saying the wrong thing out of zeal. Doing the wrong thing out of ignorance and rebellion. But from early on I had a desire to not just read the scriptures but to understand them.

But to be honest I often wondered about my husband. I wondered when I would meet him. I wondered what he would be like. Even in my most spectacular moments with Christ I had in the back of my mind earthly love. I prayed and asked God why everyone around me was marrying off and He had left me alone. I asked what was unworthy about me that I couldn't have a man to start a family with. I knew I wasnt ready, but I wanted it anyhow, and I guess I thought if I was persistent enough the Lord would eventually answer the prayer.

At some point my older sister told me to get my prayer journal and start making a list of the things I wanted the Lord to grow in my husband, things that were important to me. She reminded me how special it was to pray for a man I did not yet know. I did this, and continued this, though I often lamented and felt like it was something that would never happen. I often felt I would end up an old maid... silly I know but going through my twenties and being the only one in the room without even a boyfriend was difficult. I asked that the Lord not bring me a man until my husband, and He certainly fulfilled that, much to my chagrin.

So what were the things I was asking the Lord to prepare my husband with? What were the things most important to me? Here are a few I recall:

a deep love for Christ

a deep love for me

sillyness

humbleness

tenderness

the ability to make me laugh

passionate about youth ministry

someone to make me feel safe

laid back/easy going

So, I spent some time praying for this, but also for God to form my husband to be the perfect fit for me, and what I didn't even know that I would need in life. I often felt these were promises that would never be fulfilled. I knew that the Lord wants us all to feel the love of a spouse, especially when that is a reflection of His love for us. But I know there are still people in this world who don't get that, and I often felt that that would one day be me.

During this time I focused on my walk. I learned to appreciate my friendships. I grew in my faith. I learned more about who Christ is and what He wanted for my life. I have had the most amazing friends who have gotten me through that time in my life. I have had the most amazing and awesome moments with the Lord. I have experienced things some never get to. And in the end.....

So it was spring when we first met online. It was a website like myspace but for Christians. I initially signed up while I was researching for my online ministry and had surfed around it looking for ideas for new features. We started talking on the site, then it switched to text. Then we started playing Lord of the Rings Online together with some of my friends, until one day when his computer crashed and he called me. Then we started spending time on the phone. Until one day in late November when we set up our first date. I wasn't about to meet someone new on my own, so I made sure my friend Anna and her husband could come and that we would go somewhere public.

Well, after our date Bry and I went to Starbucks alone. We sat outside and talked. Before we knew it it was dark, the place had closed up around us and everyone was gone. I recall freezing but didn't want to go get a jacket for fear the magic I felt would end. He was even smart enough to leave the night with just a friendly hug. Our first kiss would come later. We both felt that connection, that magic, like nothing before. 

We both started to realize very quickly that this was it. At some point we had a talk about how we had been praying for a spouse. It was not long before we noticed that the very specific things that we had been asking God for were very specifically part of each other's character. Bry is the man I had been praying for (to the tee), and even more that I didn't even know I needed yet. Where I am weak he is strong, where he falls short I succeed. We are the perfect fit, and who would have known?

Since we have met we have encouraged each other in our faiths. Early on (when we lived 2 hours away from each other) we would spend hours upon hours on the phone. We would take turns reading through the new testament together. He would drive down for youth group on the weekends, where I was a volunteer. He became a friend not just to me but to my friends as well. I soon saw that all the things I had admired in husbands I had seen in my life were all compiled in Bryans very being. The night he knelt on the beach and proposed to me I told him I felt like I won the husband lottery. And I still feel that way even more than I could imagine. We are not perfect, but we are certainly perfect for each other. I pray for many many many years with Bryan. He is a daily reminder of not only God's fulfillment of a hope, but of the intense love that God has for us. He is my matching puzzle piece.

I am putting a candle from our wedding into our memorial box today. :Because our love is God's greatest gift to date.

  

The Hearing

Memorial Box Monday Edition

It was a few years ago that my grandpa had a stroke. He had been falling at home, but refused to let us move him to a facility where he could have some assistance. It had gotten to the point, though that he would fall often and was often in the hospital, and often not telling us about it. A couple weeks before the stroke he called me for a ride from the hospital. As I drove him home we talked. I told him how much I missed granny and how losing her had such a profound impact on my life ( a story for another day). He told me about his parents who had married despite their family's aversion to the mixing of religions. He told me that his mother always told him that being different didn't make someone better than another and that people should love and respect each other despite their differences. It was as if he knew we didn't have forever to talk. I had a similar conversation with my granny when she was getting real sick. Its as if they knew.

A couple days after that I went and picked up my grandpa for easter dinner. I brought him to my house and we had dinner with my roommates. He had some cuts from the recent falls and my friend later confided in me that he didn't look good and I should make the most of the time we had left with him. Only days later I got the call from my mom that he had had a stroke and that the neighbor found him and that he was in the hospital. I didn't know what to do but my bosses told me to go so I went. When we got to the hospital we saw this time it was worse.

Now something you should know about my grandfather is that he was a soldier. He fought in World War II and also in the Korean War. I don't know exactly what he did other than he was in the army before there was an air force and worked on planes. My grandpa would share stories only here and there and seemed sad when he did. I know that he lost much of his hearing from being around planes in the military and as long as I was alive had hearing aids to hear. Even with his hearing aids it was annoying for him to hear because it amplified all sounds equally. Music and background noises greatly bothered him so often he would turn them off and just pretend to listen. With three daughters and his wife this was an advantage for him. He would often chuckle when someone caught him and turn them back on.

So back to more recent past..... we spent a week in the hospital with my grandpa before he passed. My mom, my sister, me. We would sit and hold his hand. Sometimes I would sit at the end of the bed and keep my hand on his foot so he would know I was there. During that week we knew most of the time that it was truly the end.

But something very interesting happened. My grandpa who had often had trouble hearing with a hearing aid didn't wear the hearing aid the whole week. He couldn't hear or even see the doctors most of the time, but he could hear us perfectly. We would sign and speak super loud to try and get his attention, and he would say "theres no need to yell I can hear you just fine". One time when my mom was trying to get his attention for the doctor, grandpa said "I can hear you, youve got a big mouth, like your mother did". Chuckling.

Grandpa was a trip right up to the end. He kept telling us all week long... "getting old is not for sissys... but it sure beats the alternative." I am not so sure about that. I believe that because of the cross when we die we go to heaven and spend eternity with Christ and our loved ones, if we believe. And when my grandpa took his last breaths later that week my mom, sister, and I were holding onto him so he knew we were there with him. He relaxed for the first time. There was a peace on his face. It seemed the alternative was suiting him just fine. He had said earlier that week that he wanted to go see granny and that he was ready. As much as it hurt my heart to lose my grandpa, I truly know that he is in a better place.

While I have spent time with people shortly before their deaths my grandfather was the first death of a person that I was in the room to experience. It was sad. It tore my heart out. I can't begin to tell you how important my grandpa was to me. How he was our hero. In war and at home. He fought for our country from the age of 17. And when my Granny spent years fighting leukemia he once again showed heroism in how he stood by her side and loved her and took care of her. He was never the same after she left. I would have to say none of us were though.

When you go through something like that there are many things that you don't notice til its over. At some point we realized that he hadn't had his hearing aid in all week but that he could hear us. And he could see us with his big old baby blue eyes. He couldn't hear or see the doctor, but he could hear us and he could see us. It felt to me like a gift from God to make that week a little extra special.

This week I am putting a picture of my grandpa, mom, sister, and myself into my memorial box, since we all experienced this. The funny thing is my grandpa is pointing up in the picture. Not sure why, but fitting I suppose, as its where he went.

The Purple Lion

Memorial Box Monday Edition

The summer of 2008 before we were married, Bryan and I took our youth on a missions trip to Matamoros, Mexico with Adventures in Missions. It was an amazing missions trip and I will always remember some of the things that happened down there. The heat of the summer in Mexico was brutal, but every afternoon when we would start our worship session - the winds that were absent every other moment would pick up and a sweet breeze would flow through the tent on the gateway. There was the craziness of what happened after a drama our team put on... but the purple lion will always be my favorite story.

One of the things that AIM does is on the last day of a missions week they let your group have a prayer time and you can break out of the standard projects if you feel the Lord leading you to something. Bryan and I were with the same group, along with about 10 youth and we were very excited for this day. After a time of prayer our AIM crew chief asked us to one by one explain what God showed us during the prayer time.

We went around sharing what we saw and when they got to Bryan he nervously said that he saw a purple lion. Well of course we all chuckled at Bryan and probably joked about what an imagination the boy has. He nervously laughed and I am sure he was embarrassed that the rest of us seemed to be hearing from God and he didn't. Well,  we came to a consensus that we wanted to help a particular dog that we had all come across that week.

The dog in question was a chow-mix that seemed to have gangrene or something on its leg. The leg had been swollen and smelled bad enough that we could tell it was pretty bad. We wanted to find the owner and see if we could take the dog to a veterinarian and see what we could do to save the leg.

We had been working the street this dog lived on all week. We had been picking up trash, rebuilding a wall on a house on the street, helping out at the church on the street, doing vbs on that street, serving food to people and walking around the neighborhood talking to people. We hesitated once we found out that the dog owner was a woman who had turned our group away and wouldnt have anything to do with us, but we pushed forward with our plan.

When we told her that we wanted to take her dog to the vet and see what we could do for the leg she said yes and she would go too. So we loaded up the dog (Fify) into the back of our van, and the woman wanted to sit back there with him. Our guide brought us to a local vet and he examined Fify. He quickly told us there was nothing he could do and even if he tried to heal the infection the dog would likely die and suffer much more. So he asked if we wanted him to put her down.

  

After conversing with Fify's mom she agreed it was the best to do. They put Fify down and we loaded him back into our van to bring him home to bury. We also picked up a chihuahua that the woman named Taquito to replace her Fify. All of us were very sad that we were not able to help Fify and there were many tears the whole way back.

Once we returned Bryan and some of the boys dug a grave for Fify and made a cross to mark the spot. While they were digging we chatted with the woman, who for the life of me I can't remember her name right now. Where she had before not wanted to speak a word to us foreigners, she now spoke, cried, and entrusted us with her story. She told us about being married to someone who was wrapped up in a drug cartel and living a scary life. She told us her children had all gotten wrapped into drugs and she had lost them. She told us about ancient aztec relatives who had buried treasure in some mountain and she wanted to go look one day for it. She told us about her faith and we told her about ours. She told us about the things that kept her from believing in Christ and we tried to help her with those issues. In the end we left her with a bible and she said she wanted to read it.

The best part of the day though came after Fify was buried and we were playing with Taquito and chatting with her. Bryan looked down at some point and noticed something that caught his eye. He showed me and we both started laughing. There on the side of an old paint can outside the woman's house was a purple lion. Bryan had been teased for seeing such a funny thing in his prayer time but here it was clear as day, and certainly much more clear than anything the rest of us saw during prayer time. I hurried to take a picture of the purple lion so that Bryan would always remember the day the Lord showed him the lion. And how fitting that the image was the Lion. It is times like this that God reminds us that He is God and we are not - and that as crazy as things might sound when he tells them to us - if we follow His will it will all turn out the way He wanted.

I am putting a picture of the purple lion to remind us of the time God showed us a purple lion. And to remind us that when God leads us it might sound crazy to some but if we follow it will all turn out. Kind of like our adoption story - everyone may think we are crazy to adopt a child when we could more easily biologically birth one - but when God leads - we will follow.

Matthew 8:18-20
When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go." Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

The Mountain

Memorial Box Monday Edition

I have always struggled with irrational fears. One of my fears has been of heights. When I heard my first mission trip working with our youth ministry would be in the mountains fear started to take root in me. I pushed it down and ignored it and continued planning. Driving up in one of the two vans, with Arlene behind the wheel, I knitted furiously, chugged chamomile, and tried to ignore my surroundings by watching movies on my laptop. At one point Arlene and the other leaders prayed for me at a gas station, asking for the peace that transcends all understanding.

After arriving we got busy and my fear started to subside a little as I got used to my surroundings. The next day after we finished our day's activities we were told we would be taken up to the top of the mountain to go swim in the waterfalls for bathing. I instantly pictured scary narrow roads almost completely vertical. We stopped at a local museum on the way and while we walked around my fear started to build. I remember walking up to a youth (my friend's son, who knew about my fears) and saying "pray for me im so scared" and he said "you dont have to be afraid, we'll protect you" and gave me a hug. This was enough to get me back in the car and head up the mountain.

While it wasn't quite the scary road I had pictured, the roads were indeed narrow, drastically curvy, and when you looked out the outside window it was straight down into rapids. We were also told stories of multiple cars going over the side, as the local missions director (G) raced around the corners. Then when we got there we had to climb down this cliff to get to the waterfalls where we would bathe. I am sure it took me like 10 times as long as anyone else to climb down and I was probably a mess by the time we left that day.

I struggled through the week but spent much time in prayer that kept me going. A couple days later we were driving back with the missions director from somewhere. He said to me "Kim - I don't know why but everytime I see you I picture a short bus." I chuckled thinking it was a joke and then immediately lost my breath and tears instantly came to my eyes. It was as if I had been sucker punched. I covered it well and no one seemed to notice the flood of emotion that came to me.

When G said that to me I got a picture in my head of the short bus I used to ride. Now before you start making jokes at my expense, I went to a private school, and they purchased old buses no longer used by public schools. They had purchased a short bus to pick up those of us kids who lived on the islands and called it the island bus. That was the bus of my nightmares. I asked G what he meant by that, and his response was somewhere around "do you think God is trying to tell you something about it? If so pray and ask Him to show you" I didn't need to ask though, I knew what it was about.

When we got back I went off to a quiet place on the property and prayed. I knew God was trying to tell me something about that time in my life. I was not a Christian on that bus, and I was very unhappy. I had struggles of my own in those years and the kids on that bus seemed to pick up on that and would tease me. This one boy in particular, Jamie, would pick and pick and pick until I started to cry and then they would ignore me. No one protected me. No one stuck up for me. I tried everything. I tried ignoring him. I tried giving it back to him. I tried joking it off. I eventually gave up and would just sit there until I cried. Every day for an hour there and an hour home and many many tears. I don't even remember all that he would make fun of me about. Whether it was my name, my height, or made up things. I remember at one time he started saying I was homosexual, and teased me for that. It was a very very sad time in my life. I started to hate my life, and school, and those around me who didn't stand up for me. 

My poor little sister probably got most of my aggression because I think I blamed her in some ways for not sticking up for me, or because I was jealous of her having friends. I seem to recall going home after that bus ride and picking on her, teasing her for her weight problem or anything I could think of. Like I said - I wasn't a very nice person back then. It makes me cry now to even think that I could do that. It was certainly not her fault that someone picked on me. She was younger, and as her older sister who wasnt very nice to her I can't imagine her putting herself at risk with Jamie to stick up for me. Anyhow... back to the story.

When I prayed on the side of this mountain in Tennessee asking God to show me what it is about this short bus experience that He was trying to share with me. I heard God speaking into my heart very clearly that he was there with me even then and that it broke his heart for me to hurt like I did then. That was perhaps the most alone I had ever felt in my life. The idea that I was possibly not alone hit me like a train. The fact that I didn't acknowledge him as God at that time, but he was there loving me and waiting for me and caring about me when I felt no one cared for me, yep it hit me like a train. That kind of love that I didn't feel like I was getting - in the hardest time in my life, was there and being offered by the king of the universe, even then. This intense feeling of how much the Lord loved me even before I loved him overwhelmed me on a mountaintop in eastern Tennessee.

The love was so overpowering that the fear that had crippled me the first couple of days of this 10 day missions trip to Appalachia was immeasurable. I remember practically flying the rest of the week, and even for months afterwards. I remember running down that cliff to the waterfall the very next day, the same cliff that had paralyzed me before. I remember actually driving one of the vans down those curvy roads laughing and singing along with the radio. I remember jumping off the rocks by the waterfalls and sliding down the natural slides with my friend, Arlene. The love that the Lord showed me that He had for me was so intense it took over every bit of fear.

this is actually a picture of me jumping into the water that week - graceful I am not

I had long heard the scriptures about the love that conquers all fear, and the peace that transcends all understanding, but never experienced it in such an intense way. I had grabbed a couple of the rocks on that mountain in TN and stuck them in my pocket. I have kept them to remember that Christ is my rock, and His love conquers my fear. That Christ will stand up for me, love me, and protect me, even when no one else will. So today I am putting one of these rocks into my memorial box!

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7

The Best Day Ever

Memorial Box Monday Edition

So I used to have a ringtone on my phone that was spongebob's rendition of "best day everrrrrrrrrrrrr". And  on January 6 of 2006, Anna and I decided to take the day off and do something fun together. I told her I would plan something fun and not tell her til the day of. We kept calling it "the best day everrrrr". And everytime my phone rang that day wed sing along "best day everrrrrrr". She showed at my house early and I was so excited to tell her that I had planned for us to go to Tampa and the Lowry Park Zoo (which we both LOVE). On the way we dropped my puppy Chrissy at the vet for her annual checkup and shots. Here is a picture of her holding the directions to the zoo in my room on that morning before the BEST DAY EVER!

Well we were giddy with excitement to be playing hooky from work and hanging with the animals all day. We loved the meerkats, the llamas, the monkeys, and were so excited to be there for the initial viewing of the new baby elephant (Tumani -which means hope). We oogled the tapirs, manatees, and were slightly offended by some chimps. It truly was the best day ever. Here is a pic of us at the end of the day getting ready to go home.

Well, so we drove home giggly and excited about the day at the zoo and talking about how we both wanted to be marine scientists for a time but both got distracted from it. On the way back to my house I stopped in to pick up Chrissy at the vet. The next hour or so was a haze for me, but I will retell it the best I could. Instead of the normal "oh we just loved her and she'll be right out" I got a nervous "sit for a minute, the doctor wants to talk to you". At which point of course my heart exploded out of my chest and I got dizzy.

The doctor came out and told me that my Chrissy had heartworms and that without treatment she would die in a matter of months, and with a very very expensive treatment she would have a chance but it was still going to be quite risky. I begged for retests and she told me that they had already done three and were completely positive that she was sick with heartworms. My heart was broken. The best day ever had quickly turned into my worst day ever.

Chrissy, my chow/sheperd mix had been given to me for Christmas by my highschool boyfriend when we were engaged and living at Fort Bragg when I was 19. When he and I broke up, my parents were in the middle of a divorce, and my granny had just passed away. At the most emotion-filled time in my life, where I had days without hope, not a friend in sight, and all around me was loss, Chrissy was there with me licking my tears and cuddling me every step of the way. It was those days that I learned about the devotion of a pet. It was those days that I started to explore my relationship with God. It was those days that completely changed me as a person and pushed me to who I am now. And Chrissy, my sweet pup, was there through it all. To hear that I could lose her crushed me.

  

So I spent that weekend doing two things. The first thing was to figure out how to pay for the treatments Chrissy would need. I certainly didn't have the thousands of dollars it would take to heal her, and I was trying to fix my credit at the time and so had no credit cards. Both momma-mandy (my moms best friend and part of our family) and my mom offered to help me foot the bill and split it three ways with me. They both love Chrissy probably as much as I do. In fact, most people who meet Chrissy have told me - "I would get a dog if I knew it would be like Chrissy". Unfortunately Chrissy is fixed so no more babies for her. Anyhow this was a huge gift and brought even more tears that weekend knowing that not only could I help Chrissy but that they loved me and Chrissy enough to sacrifice for her.

The second thing I did that weekend was pray for Chrissy over Chrissy Under Chrissy and about Chrissy. My friends and I spent the whole weekend praying and holding and kissing Chrissy begging the Lord for healing. I had never seen God heal someone miraculously like that first hand before but I knew the God I served could certainly hack it. I promised God that if He healed my little girl I would know it was Him who did it and proclaim it to others.

I found the most recommended vet with a reasonable price to perform the treatments and brought Chrissy in the following Monday, as they said time was of the essence. Before we walked into the vet, Arlene and I placed our hands on Chrissy and prayed that God would perform a miracle and heal her. When we went into the room with the vet tech we confirmed that before treatments they would perform another test. She said yes but that they also had the tests from the other vet which showed she was positive. Arlene and I told her "Well we are expecting God to perform a miracle - so we just want to make sure you will test before you do anything". We left with tears in our eyes hoping and praying God would see this as a reasonable request.

I remember I was in the bank parking lot when my phone started ringing "best day everrrrrrrrrrrrr". I thought it was ironic and picked up the phone. It was the vet telling me that they were confused, and not very sure how this happened, but Chrissy is now testing negative for heartworms and I could come pick her up at any time. 

My first instinct (I am more than ashamed to say) was to think "the other stupid vet was probably wrong" and in that moment I was reminded of my words "if you heal her Lord I will know it is you" and was immediately convicted of my sin instinct. I started laughing and crying all at the same time. My heart leaped. I started singing "best day everrrrrr" and called Arlene and Anna to tell them the good news.

Below is a picture of Chrissy from last year's camping trip with Bryan and I, and our boxer pup Trigger. 

 

Chrissy is getting older, going blind, and even getting a bit more cuddly in her old age. Though she adores Bryan she will always be my little girl. When Bryan goes to bed at night and I am still working Trigger plods after him while Chrissy does not budge until I am ready. 

We love her so much and the fact that God loves us so much and cares about the "little" things in our life blesses me beyond words. I pray that I never forget what He did for Chrissy and the best day everrrrr!

The Discontent

I once heard a sermon that has sit in my heart for a very long time. I don't remember the whole sermon. I recall that it was a teaching on generosity based on Luke 16.

Luke 16 is perhaps the most confusing parable of Jesus. After 10 or 15 reads through I am still looking at it saying "huh?". But the pastor giving this sermon made it so clear regarding one thing. And I am going to share what I took from it with you.

Read it here to let the Lord speak to you through it.

The key to happiness. The key to joy. The key to killing that discontent.

Do you have gadget desires? Do you long after that new vera bradley purse? Does your mouth water when you think about buying more shoes? Does your pulse quicken at the thought of a faster car, a larger hard drive, a faster iphone, a bigger diamond? Or maybe its a newer fancier bible ;)

I am pretty sure we can all put ourselves in that category for one thing or another from one time to another. Have you ever felt that empty feeling that soon followed one of these purchases? I can't tell you how many times I increased the storage space in my hard drive feeling that need in my bones only to find that with terabytes and plenty of extra space - that my emptiness was not filled. Its in those moments that you see your God hole (cavity) can only be filled with the Lord and not GB or Karots.

Have you ever met someone who no matter how good their situation was - they always saw the negative and walked through life as if everything was a burden and there was no joy? Now have you ever met someone who not matter how bad their situation was that they always saw the positive and walked through life with joy and happiness? I have met many of both. I feel like one of the differences that I can see in these people is generosity (disclaimer: obviously with many exceptions including clinical depression). Now - I would not be naive enough to make huge generalizations about all people or all of a particular type of people. But - in my experiences I often see that generosity makes a huge difference in a person being of one type or another. This coincides with what the pastor spoke in that sermon on Luke 16. He said something that rings in my head over and over again as I walk through my life.

Generosity Covers Discontent

Did you catch that? Generosity covers discontent. You don't often see missionaries serving in third world countries complaining about their ipod dying, or even that their feet hurt. You don't often see those who serve the least of these whining about how hard their day was or what so and so said about her. When I have met these people they seem to have a joy and light that goes beyond circumstance. When I have served alongside them I have felt that joy that goes beyond circumstance.

So to take this to another level - the next time you start thinking about how tough you have it - would your follow up be - how hard does someone else have it and how can I help? Maybe it should. Maybe it should be my response the next time I whine about moody coworkers or sitting in front of the computer all day. I have used this knowledge "generosity covers discontent" when advice is inquired of me on certain things. I don't always go there myself but I will continue trying.

Whether its baking cookies for a widow or yardwork for someone disabled - generosity always puts you in a better mood. A theologian once said that if everyone only concerned themselves with the needs of others - everyone's needs would be met. The idea here is to take care of each other. This selflessness leads to everyone being taken care of. And when we are serving others - we are not concerned with our own needs. Taking the focus off ourselves and onto others and the Lord is the key to being content.

So the meaning of life? Jesus - Serving Others - Serving the least of these. When we are not concerned with others - this is when discontent sets in, as a symptom of selfishness.

This parable, and this teaching has helped me in my life and I pray that the Lord may use it to help you in yours.

Luke 12:33

Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.

The Proof

Many people seem to think that the only way to prove or disprove something is with the sense of vision. When I was in grade school I learned that we have five senses: smell, touch, vision, hearing, and taste. I also learned that they were all equally important. At some point science and atheism seemed to convey that sight was the only true measure of something’s validity. There are many problems with this idea. Does that mean that if we were all blind that nothing could ever be tested true or false? Does this mean that a blind person can never truly know truth because they can never see it? If we were going to stick with that theory, that vision is the only defining sense, then we could use the argument that if we look at the world around us and see the creation then we should see God in that. I know everyone wants to see a picture of someone who looks like a man, but much larger with a bearded grandpa looking face seated on a throne in the clouds smiling down on us. But can’t we see God in the creation, and often in people around us? I once heard a story that went something like this…

If you were in a museum and saw a beautiful painting hanging on the wall would you not assume that someone made that painting? Now I would imagine that if it were just splashes of paint on a canvas then maybe you could think it was accidental and that nature caused it. Maybe the winds knocked a can of paint over on top of this canvas, but if I was referring to a painting that was done in great detail and absolute perfection. Could you look at something like this, with a scientific mind, and just say that it was a coincidence that a paint of color would fall into this canvas and create such a masterpiece? It often takes a more scientific mind to see God then to see the theories objecting to God.

Now back to this sensing thing, if we were to dispute the idea that sight is the only measurement that we can use to say whether something is true or false then we could acknowledge the importance of other senses as well, then. Now, the bible teaches us that once we believe and accept Jesus as our savior and are redeemed by that faith, that the holy-spirit comes and lives in our hearts. This is where the sense of touch comes into play.

If you are not a believer then you cannot measure this feeling, but as a believer I have measured this feeling and can honestly tell you that I feel the Lord touch me all the time. He fills my body with compassion for people that I would have once looked down on. He fills me with love for people who I would have hated before him. He has definitely changed the way that I look at things in the world around me, and has turned my life 180 degrees around to a place where I have everything I could have ever wanted. But if you are looking for a physical touch for me to feel, then I would have to say that when I spend time with the Lord I can feel him physically touching my heart.

Now on to the sense of hearing. I can physically hear the Lord speak to me. Most of the time it is to my heart, and it is the voice in my head. But there were times where I could hear the audible sound of him speaking to me, if I am not listening to the voice in my heart.

So there are three senses we now have covered. If you were a blind man and made a new friend, and he spoke to you and you could feel him touch your arm at times when he was trying to make a point or when he was holding you if you were scared, then you would probably not have a doubt in the world that this man existed. Am I right? So why would you have so much trouble believing that God exists, if people were to tell you that you could experience Him in this way?

So you won’t take my word for it then? Well, ok. I can understand that as the person I was 10 years ago would not have believed me either. You need proof you say? Ok then. I will give you proof.

When you are in history class and you read about Napoleon Bonaparte, do you ever wonder if they are making him up? Do you ever wonder if the textbook is lying about him and that he never walked a day on this earth? Would you be surprised to learn that there is more proof that Jesus was resurrected from the dead than any proof that Napoleon Bonaparte ever walked a day on this earth? It is true.

How do you know that anything that happened before you were born is true? Even after you were born for that matter, if you were not on-location then there is no way to know if what people are telling you is true. Correct? You see news broadcasts where these people tell you that there is a war going on, but it could be a fraud. It is quite possible that there is no war going on, in fact, if you have not been to Iraq there is a possibility that Iraq itself does not exist. [disclaimer: this is stated as an example and is not meant in ANY way to speak with anything but respect towards our war efforts especially those of soldiers on the ground]

So how do we know what is true and false that other people tell us. Well there are a couple ways. First of all you have to scientifically and logically decide what sources you will trust and you will also need to use your discernment. What is more logical? That the universe was a perfect coincidence or that it was made by someone. Think about that.

The next thing is that you have to have faith. Facts will never convince you, but knowing the facts may allow you to give in to what you have known you have been heading for, the truth. Once you realize that Christianity is not some crazy cult or a bunch of people who are building their lives on something that is wrong, and you are shown that it is an intelligent deduction based on the facts, then you can really start to understand.

The bible. Well. I remember a long time ago debating with my little sister, who is an agnostic, and she told me “well the bible is just a bunch of letters written by man”. Well this is partially true. And that is the most amazing thing. If you were to read the bible front to back you would notice something, at least I did. Though the books were written hundreds of years after each other they all carry the same tone. If you were to read a book written by 100 different authors all living at different times throughout history, don’t you think that it would not flow well and that it would seem choppy with many different writing styles, and writing “voices”? Well when I read the bible from the beginning to the back I notice the same author using the same words. The Lord tells us the same things and discusses similar topics over and over using different illustrations. There is definitely one voice speaking through all those scribes. If you do not believe me, then read if for yourself and prove me wrong.

So, back to the bible just being stuff that was written down a long time ago by men. What are we saying here? Isn’t every historical document just stuff that was written down a long time ago by men? What makes the bible any less historical than your textbook that you read in your world history class? Actually, the bible is much more of an historical document, but they probably are not going to teach you that in any public school. The first thing you should know is that we have copies of some of the books in the new testament that date back to the first century. Now I would think if I wrote a journal entry tonight about what I did today it would be a whole lot more accurate than what I wrote in a year from now regarding what happened today, and so on.

So, if your history book is written in the past ten years and is simply a reproduction of what other books have said in the past, and so on, would not the biblical books that we have from the first and second century be much more accurate representations of the events going on during that time? Or would you discount it just because people have told you that it is hogwash? Another point I would like to make is in regards to its opposition. The bible portrayed events that happened during a time. The people who could witness truth or false regarding these events were alive when the books of the New Testament were being copied and sent around. If it were all “hogwash” would not people of that time have disputed it as such? Especially if they have proof. Would not the Guards at the rock where Jesus was buried have produced the body if it were all “hogwash”? The bible was written by people who were there, not just someone who heard about the story. Paul (aka Saul) put his life and reputation on the line when he wrote his letters. Would he have done that if he knew it was hogwash?

Now let me bring your attention to a quote from Revelations. This is in chapter 22 verses 18 & 19.

I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.

Now, followers of Christ and people who produced versions of the bible believe every word in the bible. If that is true and they read the words listed above from chapter 22 they must fully believe that they were copying accurately or be punished in the way above. That kind of makes me not want to ever think about ever copying the bible, as I would rather not risk that kind of danger. However these early scribes would take the copying of such documents very seriously. They would copy in longhand word for word as they read the original (called the autograph). After they copied and read word for word they would have a proofreader read it again word for word. If a single mistake was found, instead of correcting the document, they would destroy the document and start over. It often took a scribe an entire year to make a copy of the bible.

That brings me to another point that has been well taught by my pastor, Brett Watson. I had never thought about this until he told us this one Sunday morning in a classroom at the Red Cross. He was referring to the objection of the resurrection whereas the disciples of Jesus stole his body in the night and hid it. He told us to think about that for a minute, put ourselves in these men’s shoes. I had followed this guy around who claimed to be God and was doing miracles and then he was killed. When he was killed he was offered many opportunities to deny his deity and be set free but would not do that. I knew this guy pretty well and so lets say that I would steal his body from the tomb in the night. Now lets understand that the guards would have been put to death if they lost the body. The Pharisee’s knew the prophecy that Jesus would rise from the dead, everyone was talking about it and waiting to see if it would happen. Knowing their expectations, they probably expected him to jump out of the rock, but on a sword and start killing Romans for them, but regardless they were aware of the prophecy. So these guards were told that if they let anyone pass this rock, or remove this rock, or move the body then they would be put to death. But lets say that even though their lives were on the line they allowed themselves to fall asleep, which is highly unlikely. And then I, a disciple of Christ, came in the night and stole his body from the tomb. Lets say I hid it to noone could find it and got away with it. Jesus told me that if I followed him that it would not lead me to an easy life, but lets say that I even ignored that and thought that I would benefit in some way, monetarily or stature wise. Now, lets think about what came of the apostles. They lived in poverty, they were constantly running for their lives, put into jail, suffered horrible deaths, and were scoffed at by anyone high in society. So, let’s say that I had hid Jesus’ body and then I went around the world proclaiming the gospel. There is no way anyone on the planet would endure the sufferings and the martyrs deaths that the apostles died, all for a lie. So then you would have to proclaim every single one of them a crazy person. But even a crazy person would not endure sufferings that they could get out of by admitting to a lie. The apostles did what they did, not to gain for themselves. The messages that they taught were ones of love and forgiveness. Does this sound like the acts of a madman? In addition, if you were to read the books of the New Testament, which were written by them, you would know that these were men who were of proper and sound mind.

Now lets think about one of the most pressing pieces of evidence. Fulfilled prophecy. I can tell you that out of all the religions in the world not a single one aside from Christianity can claim a single prophecy fulfilled, aside from those that could be controlled. For instance, if Mohammad said he would go to a city, and then he went there. Christianity can claim hundreds if not thousands of fulfilled prophecies. And I am not referring to coincidences. Jesus may have been able to know the scriptures to know that he should ride into town on a donkey on Palm Sunday, but there is no way that he could control hundreds of the prophecies around him, concerning his ancestors, the place and circumstances surrounding his birth, and other things that happened to him out of his control.

Now Josh McDowell has an amazing image of this for you. He had logicians figure out the probability of someone fulfilling only eight of the prophecies that Jesus fulfilled. Now understand that Jesus fulfilled hundreds, and if you read the Old Testament and then you read the new testament you can see this for yourself. So McDowell discovered that the chances of one man fulfilling eight prophecies from the Old Testament was 1/100,000,000,000,000,000. To give you an image of this ratio we need to understand the size of the state of texas. It is pretty much ginourmous. If you were to cover the state with silver dollars, two feet deep and have a blindfolded man reach down and grab one of the silver dollars, then that would be the same chance that Jesus Christ fulfilled just eight of the prophecies that he fulfilled. Is that enough proof?

The bottom line comes down to faith. Paul tells us that it is by grace through faith that we are saved and that is the only way to be redeemed by God. So these facts and logics will only help you realize that Christians are not fools but believe in a scientifically viable Messiah, not give you faith. But if you have any question about it pray about it, ask the Lord to show himself to you, and I promise He will, just maybe not always in the way you expect. Jesus was never one to stick to mediocre human expectations.