The Rain

I have to say one of my favorite things is walking in the rain. In fact, rain was a struggle my husband and I had to get through early in our relationship.

When he sees rain he either goes inside or gets an umbrella. When I see rain I want to run outside and stomp in puddles. He would exclaim that rain is dirty and gross, and I would say it was refreshing and clean. Needless to say, my husband will now walk in the rain with me and even enjoy it, though he does still think it is dirty.

Rain to me used to signify cold ugly weather where you couldn't do fun things. Rain has a completely different meaning to me now and I find it beautiful, cleansing, refreshing, renewing, happy, and even loving. When did this transition happen? On a hot sticky humid grey day in Sarasota Florida about 8 years ago.

On this particular day I was sitting in church, that was at that time renting a classroom at the local red cross. I felt like I should go outside and pray. I had been feeling lackluster in my faith for some time and felt like I was going through the motions, and though I was continuously learning and reading my bible I wasn't feeling a real connection with the Lord. So as I walked the parking lot praying aloud to the Lord. I prayed specifically for renewal. I prayed the Lord would wash me of the burdens that I carried and that I would be refreshed with a passionate relationship with Christ.

When all of a sudden I became aware of an intense feeling of love and then boom it happened. It poured rain down over me. And I started to laugh out loud to myself. I had been asking the Lord specifically to wash me and renew me and pour his love on me and boom rain pouring all over me. I continued to laugh and pray and walk around for a few minutes more enjoying the cold rain falling down my face, drenching me. Coincidence? That would be naive to believe it was a coincidence. And trust me, my burdens were lifted that day, my passion was renewed, and I felt the Lord's love in a very real way. This was one of those times in my life that pushed me into a deeper love and relationship with Christ.

Since that day I think back to those moments often. Yes, I was always a puddle splasher but I never ever appreciated rain like I do now. Now when I see rain, I notice things. I see the sun-cracked dry light brown earth filling with moisture and life-source. I see the withered green leaves puff up with energy. I see the dirt pour off my driveway down into the gutters. I see my car shining a little more (well when its waxed real good). I feel the appreciative exhale of a Floridian about to explode from heat and humidity when the rain starts coming and we get a few brief moments of coldness, well when the rain isn't near boiling temperature and scalding our scalps. I see the birds huddled up together on power lines waiting for it to pass.

I really do love the refreshing rejuvenating effect that rain has on us. And I think living in Florida in the summer has an exaggerated vision of what rain does. Not even considering the droughts and water restrictions that we've had in recent years... When I leave for work in the morning I go out and drench the soil in my plants. When I come home the soil is so dry that there are cracks in the soil and it looks like someone literally took a food dehydrator to it. And the leaves on my plants are curled in and browning. So when it rains just then and the soil expands and turns a darker brown and the leaves puff back up, I can just see how the rain gives new life to things.

The Lord has a similar effect on us. The Lord can bring us life when our bodies and souls are light brown and cracked dry. When the scorching heat of life has made us feel like we can't breath or move, the Lord can fill our spirits with himself and rejuvenate us. Without rain a plant can only live a very limited life. Without the Lord we are only breathing and following the motions. So if you see a silly young woman drenched and laughing splashing through puddles in central Florida - shoot me a wave :)

I pray for you today that you ask the Lord to rain his spirit on you. Maybe it won't be in a literal way, maybe it will. I pray you ask him to take up greater residence in your heart and that you would love him in even a small portion of the manner that He loves you. I pray that you know today that you have a father in heaven who is watching and waiting for the tiniest of times with you, and is deserving of so much more.

Psalm 42
1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

The Smoke-Out

"Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world"

I am not sure what it was that started me smoking cigarettes. When I was young my grandparents smoked and I hated it. I knew smoking could give diseases and I would beg my granny to quit smoking. [prepare yourself for a big admission] I sucked my thumb much longer than most kids. I am pretty sure I was almost 10 before I completely stopped. As I aged it came out only when I was scared but well... anyhow... I recall asking my granny when she encouraged me to quit sucking my thumb if she would consider a deal. I offered to quit sucking my thumb if she would quit smoking. Well she took the deal, I quit sucking my thumb, but she didn't quit smoking until she came down with leukemia when I was about 13.

But somehow - I have vague memories of sneaking cigarettes we found at the beach with my sister as teens and trying them out. Then I started working at a local grocery store as a bagger and all my coworkers seemed to smoke. I wasn't a full out smoker until after 18, but in my teen years I would smoke a cigarette when they were available to me. I smoked in my late teens to my early twenties and it was not long before I wanted to quit. Between watching smokers drop like flies in my life, watching my nephew struggle with childhood cancer, and coughing until my lungs hurt - I feared a painful disease and what smoking was doing to me. I began to despise smoking and the hold it had on me. But all my friends smoked, and every time I quit I was smoking again before long.

Early in my twenties I also found the Lord. I didn't feel a huge conflict of interest with smoking cigarettes and my faith, though it did change the way I drank alcohol and my desire to participate in other activities. But the best part about my new faith, and then my new church, was that I did find some friends who didn't smoke. And instead of being part of a crowd who goes outside every five minutes for a smoke I became the one outside rushing through a cigarette before I could go back in to everyone. I also found my friend Anna who also expressed a strong desire to quit smoking.

So anyhow, my friends had come to find my continuous smoking quitting humorous. I saw their raised eyebrows and smirks every time I claimed that I had just finished my last cigarette. February 13, 2003 I was sitting with my friends Erin, Kyle, Clayton, Julie, and Richie in Erin and Kyle's house. I told them that I had decided right then that I was going to quit smoking. Clayton started laughing and said "sure you are Kim", and the rest laughed. Recalling the line on the back of my tshirt I snapped back "greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world".

Whoa - I just brought God into the equation. Whether the almighty creator of the universe wanted to be drawn into my battle with Nicotene or not here it was. When I told my friend Anna that night she said she would also quit that night. I am not going to tell you that God instantly quenched my desire for a cigarette and that it magically was no longer an addiction. But I am going to tell you that the Lord quit smoking for me. After time and time and time of declaring and attempting a quit I finally quit for real. My friends helped me. We kept my hands busy with video games and my mouth busy with cough drops (from the inevitable ick we all get from quitting smoking). But we did it. The Lord literally carried me through. I recall hiding a couple cigarettes in my drawer just in case, and eventually threw them out.

Anna and I quit smoking on February 13 and our bodies began to heal. When it was all said and done I no longer had a taste or even slight desire for cigarettes (which I am told is rare). Very soon after quitting the smell became disgusting and unbearable to me. I guess thats what happens when you get what you ask for. Years later I can honestly say the Lord healed me of that and I will never again smoke another cigarette. And though Anna has struggled quite a bit more than me (still dealing with the desire for smoking and even having dreams about it) she is currently in smoking remission. So join me in praying for her that God would grant her the freedom that He granted me from nicotene and all that goes with it.

I will be putting a pack of matches into my memorial box to remind me of what the Lord took away.

  

Day of Prayer And Fasting

A Place Called Simplicity: Please Share Your Prayer Needs.....

Im captivated by Stellan's story!

scroll down and keep clicking previous posts to get to the beginning - and read backwords

The Storming of Ninevah

I love the book of Jonah. I love the idea of the whale and the boy. I love the prayers. I love the inspiration and courage. I love the fear and rebellion. I don't really care if the fish was a fish or a whale. I don't really care if it was an actual historical event or just a story to explain a concept. I just love the heck out of it.

 A part of me All of me really identifies with Jonah. Sometimes when God comes a calling I want to crawl under a rock and stick my fingers in my ears and sing out loud "la la la la la la la - I cant hear you". Sometimes I want to turn the radio up real loud and pretend I didn't hear him. Sometimes I want to use logic to convince myself why what He wants couldn't really be what is best for me. And sometimes, just sometimes, I want to hop on a boat and go in the other direction. I think most people probably feel this way sometimes. I know for me - my enemy is fear. Fear is what tries to yank me away from God's best for me. Fear of man. Fear of fear. Fear of possibilities. Fear of loneliness. Fear of God.

For a long time I wasn't just a tourist under that rock - I lived there. I was the rock girl. I didn't care that there wasn't any sun there - because the sun was too bright. I stayed under that rock and stuck my fingers in my ears and let fear take complete control of my steps. I am not saying I was happy under that rock, but it was my rock and it was comfortable.

Somewhere after my first missions trip fear started to lose grip on me. The love of Christ started to burn it away. I suddenly became filled with a new courage. I had this picture in my head. It was me being catapulted off the tongue of a whale, like a slingshot almost, flying in a somersault with my fist raised - storming Ninevah. I didn't want to run and hide from the word Ninevah anymore. I wanted to storm Ninevah. I wanted to raise my fist in triumph and speak forth the word of God.

I have told you about my bff anna and how we are tight. We also like to do projects together. We have done most things, from modgepodge to building homemade didgerydoos, to electrical diy projects and pranks.... paintings, clay... sewing... everything. Now one of the things we did at one time was we made some techno worship songs, and named ourselves "storming ninevah". They are kind of lame - anna is amazing but i am not. If you have a jrock account you can listen to them here http://www.jrockboom.com/userinfo.php?user=stormingninevah

So when fear starts to creep up and put its hands around my throat, I try to think about Storming Ninevah. Because as that story showed us, and as experience has shown me, God will do the impossible, all we have to do is show up.

I am putting a picture of jonah and the whale into my memorial box :)

  

The Starfish

Once upon a time, there was a wise old man,
who went to the sea to contemplate.

One day, while walking along the shore,
the wise old man looked down the beach,
and saw a gracefully dancing human figure.
The wise old man wondered out loud,

“Who would be dancing all alone on the beach?”
He began to walk faster to catch up.
Getting closer, the wise man saw that the dancer
was a child, who was not dancing at all.
The child was reaching down to the sand to pick up
something, and was very gently throwing it into the sea.

The man called out to the child,
“Good Morning! What are you doing?”
The child paused, looked up and replied,
“Throwing Starfish into the sea.”
Surprised, the man said,
“Yes, I see that, but WHY are you throwing Starfish into the sea?”

The child smiled brightly, pointed upward and
with perfect simplicity replied,
“The sun is up, and the tide is going out.
If I don’t throw them in, they will die.”
“But, don’t you realize, “asked the man,
“that there are miles and miles of beach and Starfish all along it?
You can’t possibly make a difference!”

The child listened politely.
Then bent down, picked up another Starfish,
threw it gently into the sea, just beyond the breaking waves,
and joyfully declared,
“It made a difference for that one.”



Want to throw a starfish back?

The Thick and Thin Friend

Memorial Box Monday Edition

When I first became a Christian I was missing a big piece of my walk. I was missing friends. I had a couple friends. At that time, not too many real friends, but I had friends. What I was missing were real friends. Friends who understood my faith. Friends who supported, encouraged, and challenged me. Friends like I read about in books. I have two sisters who didn't live near me at the time, and though one knew my faith, only had so much time for me via the phone. I was struggling with panic disorder at the time and there were many things I prayed about. The thing I prayed the most about at the time was friends. I prayed long and hard for friends that I could experience this life as a Christian with.

At the time I had nothing in sight. I was going to a church with an awesome teaching pastor but where no one seemed to notice I was there. I would linger a little before and after service but after a year and a half not a single person acknowledged me there or invited me to anything. I wanted a Christian friend more than anything, but it didn't seem like it was going to happen to me, and as shy as I was it was even more distant. Those days were tough for me, trying to teach myself and encourage myself. Lets just say my understandings and decisions weren't always the best. I would lay and pray and ask the Lord "Lord please could I have a friend who was a Christian".

Through a series of events, about 4 years later I started going to a particular church, and after a series of events started spending time with a woman named Arlene. Arlene was a tad older than me but we always had so much fun that I loved spending time with her.

I can't begin to explain how important she is to me. How she has encouraged me. How she has sharpened me, like iron on iron. How she has challenged me. How she has loved me. How she has taught me. How she has encouraged me. How she has supported me. How she has helped me in my walk.

At different times we have talked about wondering if our friends were the type that stick through hard times, through thick and thin. She always told me she would expect me to leave her in tough times. And I too had never had a friend who would go through the really tough times with me. Arlene and I have been through THE RINGER. Going through numerous people drama, church breakups, deaths, fights, attacks, accusations, and all kinds of hell she has stuck by me. When people have attacked her and when people have attacked me and when we fought even with each other, we always got through it together.

There were plenty of times it would be easy for her to walk away from me. But she didn't. She is the type of friend that tells me when I am wrong. She is the type of friend that protects me when people come against me. She is the type of friend that I can know will go through the fires with me in this life.

When I prayed for a friend - I was really praying for Arlene. I am amazed that the Lord had something so special in mind for me. Someone to teach me to be a friend, to teach me to be a wife, to teach me to be a child of God and sit at the foot of Christ. I have some very special and amazing people in my life, but I would not be who I am and where I am without Arlene - that is for sure. Paul said "follow me as I follow Christ". In the meantime I have been following Arlajean as she follows Christ. She is my real life Linny.

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.? - Proverbs 27:9

This week I am putting a picture of Arl and I in my memorial box.