The Fire

But if I say, "I will not mention him
or speak any more in his name,"
his word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot.
- Jeremiah 20:9

I can't lie, I have a deep fascination for the prophet Jeremiah. I will probably one day name a child Jeremiah. Perhaps. There was the duck... Anyhow, Jeremiah just reminds me so much of myself. I don't mean in a powerful Godly way, I mean in the whiny, lamenting, dragging feet kind of way. I mean, imagine having a book written for you to go in the bible called "lamentations". [Baruch was Jeremiah's scribe who actually wrote the words down] The Lord often has to knock me over the head with things before I either see what He is trying to tell me or get brave enough to do it.

I first came across Jeremiah 20:9 as it was the mission scripture of thefirehouse youth group I used to work with. I thought it was great and it inspired me to spend time studying Jeremiah and Lamentations. That is when I realized Jeremiah and I were alike and I really began to understand him and dig him as a person. I understand both sides of Jeremiah's life experience. I understand being a baby, being fearful, worrying about people's opinions of me, feeling alone, feeling small, feeling unworthy, feeling incapable. But I also understand that fire that the Lord puts in your heart that burns with the deepest of deep desire to love the Lord and learn more about Him. When I feel like I would virtually explode from the love I feel for my savior my thoughts go to Jeremiah and how he burned with love for God and his word, the message.

I have a fire shut up in my bones, and when I don't feel that fire in my bones - I long for it. When I have it I whine about it (in prayer mostly), then goes the vicious cycle...